WHAT I LEARNED IN THE YEAR 2007

I am not Cate Blanchett.

This realization really smarts.

I am not a pirate or a nun.

I am especially not a pirate-nun.

I used to be Clara Bow, but I had to let that go. Although tempting, when it comes right down to it, it's best to be just ME

rather than a troubled, promiscuous silent film star.

I'm concerned my cat thinks that I'm his

"significant other."
I never wanted to be in a long-term relationship.

How did it all get so out of hand?

Turkeys like to travel in threes.

My dreams are fucking spectacular.

It's good for your spirit to take a ride on the inside of a big, giant orange.

This is especially beneficial when you've just lost your job.

Everybody claims to know somebody who works here. Nobody really does.

The "Alphabet Game" is a bad idea for dyslexic improv actors.

My friends are my family.

Lucky, lucky me.

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